Found

I don't set out to make friends, I don't encourage it; Lord knows I actively go out of my way to avoid them. But somehow, no matter where I go, good friends find me. Not to worry though, it only takes me about a year to be rid of them.

something stupid

I am going to let my loneliness lead me unto a path of stupidity. I can see it now, two weeks down the line, (after I have been reminded that I can't breathe when he looks at me; not out of infatuation but out of overwhelming disgust) my heart skips every time my phone beeps because I dislike being hounded. Endurance, lonely heart; don't be a damned fool.

The virtue of solitude

It's still surreal, me living on my own. In the middle of the night, when I get up to pee, I marvel that I am not scared shitless that there's no one else around. I talk to myself a lot too, but that's nothing new. My Mother says that's where my creativity comes from; I think it's the beginning of Alzheimer's. But in essence, I'm not really talking to myself. I have conversations with someone else... in my head. It's not an imaginary person. I mean, he's not there presently but he does exist. And I know his speech patterns so I just fill in for him. It helps me think and I know no one is going to walk in on me asking, `who are you talking to?` I'm also more focused now, I made a promise to read one chapter every morning; I've been religious for 3 weeks. I am never religious about anything for more than a week. If I make it past week four, I'll add running and ...something else to my regimen. Finally! I am truly independent and the feeling is ... I'll let you know

Orchestra

The conductor, the music, the crescendos, the dips, the violin concertos and the clashing cymbals, you are everything